Dance Aftershock Poetic Dribble

Dance classes intimidate me. I am most vulnerable when in a dance studio because when growing up, the dance studio I attended is where I felt my most shy and left out. I perceived all the girls in class as extroverts (which I was not at that age), and felt intimidated by their domineering personalities. I was self-conscious and trapped in a shyness blanket at every class that was only dropped at the recital we'd have each year. But because rhythm was natural for me and movement was something that my body could do, I never completely dreaded class knowing that there'd be some point during it where I'd feel good about my abilities and pleased about learning something new.

So anywho, though I've grown leaps and bounds in my skills and confidence, and continue to participate in dance culture and to be inspired by it, I still have a little protective shell over my body when in a dance studio.

However, since being in LA I feel so much more able to embrace and feed all my creative "bits" i'll call them. LA...though parts of the city, the people and industry may seem superficial and driven by selfish desires...is truly the world's haven for artists...where words like "energy" and "aura" are spoken of with frankness because here in this city, we recognize the "something" that connects us all to one another and allows us to "feel" one another.

I truly felt that "something" when dancing on Monday in a Hip Hop class taught by the inspirational Leslie Scott...an uber bubbly, friendly, firefly and caring instructor. It was my first class with her and I was blown away. It was she who recommended that Anyone, if they had the chance, should take a class from Gina Starbuck.

So on Wednesday, I took a class from Gina Starbuck. She was substituting MODERN FUSION at The Edge dance studio. I had never taken this class before and as always felt a little scared before entering because of...well you know...and because I have no background in modern dance and a completely juvenile background in technique compared to the majority of the dancers at this studio. Though the class proved difficult, and at times I was frustrated with my lacking qualities, I was able to embrace what I COULD do because Gina, like Leslie, was all about embracing feeling and emotion and to trust that the choreo would come through that. By the end of class, I was feeling really positive and so enjoyed seeing the other wonderful dancers perform as we did the combo we learned in groups.

But at the end of class was when I truly was touched. She told us to pair up with a partner and to be present with them. My partner and I gravitated towards one another and I'd like to think it's because we were both shy and felt some kinship. She was an older woman, probably in her 30s. We didn't talk. She was sweet and meek and we just looked at one another and bobbed naturally to the song Gina played. We had a similar nature. Then Gina told us all to go to the mirror and look at ourselves. The combination of the freeing experience that the dance combo allowed me to have, the partner activity, the song, the lights being dim, and the sheer beauty and thoughtfulness and talent and energy that was in the room caused me to cry.

How cathartic.

When I got home I dribbled something out that could be poetry...could be a song...could be a spoken word bit some day...could be many a thing. I kinda like it.

Looked in the mirror and cried today
Looked at you...a stranger...
and you were me, 20 years later.

Still an old soul
Still meek and humble
sparkly eyed.

How uncomfortable it was to stare
but we fought through.

We must fight through
to feel
to know
to feel you...know you.

You were me, 20 years later.

Reach for the sky
Humble yourself daily
Cry a tear for...
You...are so beautiful.
Cry a tear for the beauty.